What Metal?
This generation is bullshit. I'm sorry, but you are seriously beginning to suck. In theory this was supposed to be the "label free" generation, but for some reason you all seem to think that everything needs to be labeled and categorized. You need to have a word or a term for everything, and think that every little tweak or twist requires an entirely new label so as to differentiate it from everything else.

Take, as an example, the various "sub genres" of the music collectively known as "Metal". When I was a kid, we had "Heavy Metal". Simple. We did also have "Hard Rock" and we sometimes referred to some music as "Guitar Rock", but that's as far as it went.

Today I was checking out a band, on a friend's recommendation, and found that they are supposedly best described as "Female-Fronted Symphonic Power Metal". Smelling some bullshit, and remembering some recently-tossed-about terms like "Nu Metal" and "Black Metal", I checked on Wikipedia and discovered the following:

Avant-garde metal
Black metal
Death metal
Doom metal
Glam metal
Gothic metal
Groove metal
Power metal
Speed metal
Stoner metal
Symphonic metal
Thrash metal
Traditional heavy metal
Viking metal
Alternative metal
Christian metal
Crust punk
Folk metal
Funk metal
Grindcore
Grunge
Industrial metal
Metalcore
Neo-classical metal
Nu metal
Post-metal
Progressive metal
Rap metal
Sludge metal

Are you people insane!?! What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you people so insecure with yourselves and who you are that you need to create all these fucking terms and "types" so that you and your pathetic group of friends can better relate to each other and other, equally pathetic people? Does this crazy collection of labels really help you put the world into perspective and make you happy?

Who sits around all day having conversations like this...

"Hmm, you know, Billy, this isn't quite Black Metal is it?"

"No, Bob, but it's not really Gothic Metal, either."

"You're right. I was thinking Gothic Metal, but then I was like, no, it's not quite gothic enough."

"I think, I think it's Doom Metal."

"Yes! That's it! It's Doom Metal. You nailed it, man!" [high fives all around]

"Whew! Glad we figured that one out. My world was dangerously close to spiraling out of control because I'm too simple-minded to just dig the music without it being rigorously categorized and classified!"

Fuck you. Just enjoy the shit and stop being so fucking hung up on all this "identity" bullshit. Back in the day, we used to be able to listen to all kinds of different music and never once did we have to plop ourselves into the middle of some kind of "sub-culture" to enjoy it. I never felt the need to put my music into rigid categories, and/or make up new bullshit categories in order to make myself feel better about what I was listening to, and neither should you.

Listen to it, enjoy it, expose your friends to it, have a good time. Stop trying to stick a fucking tag on anything that sits still for two seconds.